Why are drug addicts pregnant and you're not?
You’re doing everything you can to physically prepare your body for pregnancy and increase fertility. You’ve quit drinking wine and coffee. You’re eating more kale and taking expensive prenatal vitamins. You haven’t had this much sex since college, but now you’re timing sex with the precision of a robotics engineer. Still no baby.
So what is the missing puzzle piece? This is the million dollar question. For some, it’s acupuncture. For some, it’s healthier food. For some, it’s nutritional supplementation. For others, it’s IVF. Or maybe a combination of all of the above.
The search goes on and on and on until finally the magic of conception nestles inside of you sprouting a new heart and spirit. And if you’re lucky, you discover the puzzle piece sooner than later and with the least amount of emotional, physical and financial stress.
What is often forgotten and lost among the arduous search for the missing baby puzzle piece is the most obvious; that another person is involved. In fact, a whole other dimension is involved. It’s easy to think it’s something you’re doing or failing to do. Or that something is wrong with you and you’re not properly prepared.
But what may be even more important than than your preparation is that of your baby’s preparation. Is your baby ready to come?
Yes, pregnancy may bafflingly come easily to a woman living on the streets ingesting little more than methamphetamines and Doritos. And yes, that is a mystery to all, especially if you’ve never been healthier than you are now or you have no known diagnosis for your “infertility” problems.
How could this possibly be? It seems like a cruel joke. Seriously, there must be no God.
But regardless of your religious beliefs, there is no denying that a baby is another person. And that person, that soul, is not yet here but hanging out in another formless dimension until it’s ready to make it’s home in its soon-to-be-body that’s cooked up in utero, and be united with its chosen parents.
I personally believe that each one of us is here to learn something. I also believe that each of us chooses our parents and the situation that we come into on this earth so that we can learn what we need to in this lifetime. So babies that choose to come through women in dire straights, addicted to drugs and living off the streets, likely have a lot of hard lessons to learn.
I’m oversimplifying a ridiculously complicated yet perfect universal system that’s way beyond my comprehension. But I believe that for some reason those souls choose to come into that situation. Maybe they need to learn things the hard way.
Likewise, the soul destined to be with you may be waiting for the perfect moment, preparing itself, or allowing your life to unfold as it must before he or she can make a grand entrance.
One patient of mine, Tanya, finally became pregnant two weeks before her mother-in-law died unexpectedly from a blood clot after routine knee surgery at 57 years old. Tanya and her husband had been trying for almost two years. They were both healthy and in their twenties with no known explanation for their inability to conceive.
Before Tanya’s mother-in-law died and was still perfectly healthy, she told Tanya that she knew Tanya was pregnant. Tanya intuitively feels that somehow the death of her mother-in-law and the birth of her daughter are related because of the uncanny timing and her mother-in-law’s prediction. She felt it had something to do with their souls needing to meet in transition.
So keep in mind there may be a much greater reason, a beautiful divine reason for the unfolding of your fertility story that births a greater purpose. That perspective may be easily overlooked when all you can think about is your burning desire to have a baby. That burning desire is a beautiful thing. It’s the driving force. The love you’re yearning to share is part of the unfolding path.
My other patients, Vicki and her husband, tried naturally for a couple years until they resorted to IVF. They transferred two embryos to no avail. They had a third embryo left, but the doctors said the quality was so poor that it may not even be worth freezing. They froze it anyway, but relocated shortly thereafter as was required by his military career. Eager to grow their family and burnt out by fertility treatments, they decided to adopt. Miraculously they received their newborn baby boy within three weeks of applying for adoption, something practically unheard of.
A year later, they moved back to San Diego and were told it’s time to pay for another year of storage for their sole remaining embryo. They didn’t want to pay for storage so they transferred the embryo with little hope that it would result in pregnancy. But it did! And now they have a baby daughter. To me, it seems obvious that they were meant to be with their adopted son before their daughter could arrive. Souls unite in many different ways.
Your baby wants to be with you at the perfect time. The time in which something has blossomed for that spirit, inside of you, your partner, your relationship, your family, or the world that makes it the perfect time for that soul to unite with you for magnificent reasons we may not understand.
This requires an element of trust in the universe, but it takes a lot of the pressure off of you. Yes, you need to do what you can to prepare. You need to eliminate physical problems and take care of your health. Maybe your baby wants you to be healthier first before uniting with you. Maybe you need to move, or make a career change, or shift something in the relationship. Maybe the soul is simply just not ready. Maybe another soul needs to transition out of this world and pass on a message to your baby first.
You need to keep on doing your best trying to conceive. That way you provide the gateway for the destined spirit to enter when he or she is ready.
I experienced a miscarriage. Initially when I first discovered I was pregnant, I could sense a spirit was with me. As the weeks went on, I didn’t feel the connection anymore. At 12 weeks along, my first ultrasound revealed there was no baby, only an empty gestational sac. My body kept supporting a pregnancy, but the baby was gone.
I consulted an amazing intuitive reader (watch my interview with her here on how to call in your baby from the other side) who told me I didn't have fertility problems, but that the spirit felt I wasn’t ready and is waiting for the right moment. She told me I will be pregnant again, and when I am, to trust that the timing is right. I know this to be true in my gut.