"Your eggs are old.": How to cope with negative fertility messages.
You visit your fertility doctor in hopes of solving your fertility issues. But unfortunately, you might walk away feeling more defeated and hopeless than you did before you made the appointment.
Especially when your doctor tells you messages like...
"Your eggs are old."
"You’re too old."
"You have less than a 3% chance."
"You have bad eggs."
I’m not one for living in a state of denial. Genetic and lifestyle factors may well have impacted the health of your fertility and egg quality and quantity. A poor prognosis means it’s time to do something about it.
But I often worry that doctors use words like ‘bad eggs’ and ‘old eggs’ too liberally. Or in some cases, they assume that just because your numbers don’t like great now means that the picture can’t change no matter what efforts you make to improve your lifestyle and health.
When you walk away in a pit of despair because your doctor tells you it’s pretty much hopeless and that your ovaries might as well go ahead and retire altogether because they’re useless, it’s not helping the cause.
Because the negative messages you believe about your body create additional stress.
And what does stress do?
It ages you more quickly!
Dr. Lisa Rankin, author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof that You Can Heal Yourself, says,
“The studies show that, even in light of these things we can’t always prevent, what we believe, especially what we fear, has a tendency to manifest itself in reality because negative beliefs fill our bodies with harmful cortisol and epinephrine, while positive beliefs relax our nervous systems and allow our bodies to heal.”
So why don’t you give yourself a break and choose to believe in your body?
To be grateful for the millions of ways it’s working for you?
To nurture it in every way you can?
To tell it positive messages?
To be in awe of it’s self-repairing abilities?
Try writing down all of the negative messages you believe about your body, especially your fertility. Consciously choose to mentally throw out those messages that aren’t serving you and replace them with messages that make you feel empowered and proud. Use the messages as motivation to give your body what it needs to thrive, like nutritious food, exercise, meditation, sleep and stress-reducing therapies like acupuncture and acupressure.
Remember, your doctor is making an assumption based on limited evidence. While there may some truth to that assumption, your body may defy the odds.