5 Ways to "Just Relax and Let it Happen." Or not.

Any woman trying to conceive gets annoyed when her friend, sister, or co-worker advises her to... 

"just relax and let it happen."

Sure there's some truth to it.

We've all heard the stories of the couples that finally quit trying after several grueling years and then miraculously conceived out of nowhere. 

But there's also truth to, "Do everything you can to make it happen."

If there wasn't any truth to that, I wouldn't have a fertility practice. And I wouldn't have helped all the women I have by telling them what they can do to improve their fertility.

So how do you create the fine balance between relaxing and letting it happen while also doing all that you can to make it happen?

Here are 5 tips that might help:

1.) Practice Self-Love vs. Self-Sacrifice

Are you growing resentful of all the health supplements you're taking?

Or that you stopped drinking wine and caffeine?

Or that you're practicing stress-management techniques?

Or getting regular acupuncture?

But you're still not pregnant?!

Instead of looking at all the healthy changes you're making as sacrifices on the road to getting pregnant, consider embracing these choices as acts of self-love in the everyday.

You probably have more energy, less stress and you may even live longer with a better quality of life as a result of the health changes you're making now. 

2.) Get away from it all!

Try scheduling a vacation so that you can not only let go of conceiving, but let go of everything for some time. 

Even if it's just for a weekend or one overnight, you'll have something to look forward to and take your mind off of getting pregnant.

3.) Do what you love to do.

Which activity has fallen to the wayside since you've started on your path to conceiving that you really miss?

Is there something that really makes YOU feel like YOU? Dancing? Reading? Figure ice skating?

Bring it back!

At least just once in a while. It's a great way to stay in touch with yourself and remember how much you rock!

4.) Take a month off.

Put the ovulation predictor kit and thermometer down and slowly back away.

For one month, don't track your cycle. Make love when you feel like it. Avoid talking about conceiving.

You can still keep up the health changes you've made because you're practicing tip #1 - Self-love!

Then pick back up where you left next cycle, but let one month be simply about your life as it is right now. Enjoy all the wonderful things in your life; your friends, your home, your city. Buy yourself some flowers.

Celebrate yourself! 

It takes 3 months for eggs and sperm to mature, so taking time off can be an opportunity for all the health changes you're making to take their effect. Rest assured that while you're on break, you're still moving forward in the right direction. 

5.) Make sparks fly!

Your romantic connection with your partner can easily get lost in the fertility mix.

Make romantic connection a priority.  Go on a date. But new sexy lingerie. Agree on a time that you won't talk about fertility and conceiving and just focus on what you enjoy most about each other. 

Feeling connected and truly turned on during sex releases more hormones, natural lubrication and relaxes your body so that it's more receptive to fertilization. But don't do it for that reason. Do it because you love your honey and because sex is awesome.