Do I need to think positive to get pregnant?
I have many women that are worried that if they don't think positive, then they won't end up pregnant.
Watch my video here for my thoughts on the importance of thinking positively:
So, have you ever thought, "Oh my gosh. I just had a negative thought. I have doubts. I feel like it's never going to happen for me. Oh my gosh, now it's really not going to happen for me, because I need to think positive, and if I'm not thinking positive, I'm not going to get pregnant."
Do you wonder if you need to think your way to pregnancy by thinking positively?
Well, if so, you're not alone. I’ve had so many women be stressed out about not thinking positively. But then they're also worried about being positive, and they're trying to practice cautious optimism, right? Because you are afraid that if you think positive, then you're going to be let down. Because you're going to think, "Oh, I'm pregnant," or, "I'm going to get pregnant," but then you don't get pregnant. And then you're worried that you'll be that much more devastated.
So, what do you do? How do you think positive? But then at the same time how do you think positive without also feeling let down? It's all just very stressful. You wonder if you can positively affirm yourself to pregnancy. Now, I'm not actually claiming to have any of the answers here. But I do have some thoughts, and from having helped so many women... hundreds and hundreds of women, through their fertility journeys and to pregnancy and through their emotional rollercoaster ride. And also through my own journeys in life, of course, because I think thinking positive applies not only to, obviously, fertility journeys but really to any challenges in life.
I am somebody who appreciates and subscribes to the idea of the law of attraction. However, I am also somebody who firmly believes in being honest with yourself and holding space for yourself to have doubts and to give voice to the doubts and to validate those doubts. I want to reassure you that having doubts is not going to keep you from getting pregnant. So if you're worrying that any doubts that you have, fears that you have is going interfere with you getting pregnant, please just release that. That's an extra layer of guilt, and shame, and stress, and worry that you're putting on yourself unnecessarily that you really just don't need to.
In fact, to even be able to think positively, what I found is that you really actually need to embrace your doubts. And you need to hold space for them in a really loving way. Imagine your doubts and your fears as a little child expressing itself, a little girl. And would you ever tell a little girl, "You shouldn't be afraid of the dark. You shouldn't have those fears. And if you have those fears, that means something's going to get you, and it's going to be your fault because you put those fears inside your head. So you're making them a reality." No. You would never tell a little child that. Well, I would hope not. If you would, then that's not cool.
But I'm sure you wouldn't. You would probably say something like, "Oh, I understand. The dark can be scary. The unknown could be scary, and we all feel that way from time to time. But it's okay. I'll keep you safe. Let's make sure. We'll look under your bed. There's nothing there. We'll look in your closet. There's nothing there. Okay?" So it's alright that you had your fear, and we can allow that space and be loving towards it and reassure it. And then then the inner child says, "Okay, now I feel safe. Now I can go to bed feeling safe and loved."
And so that's how I would encourage you to address your fears and your doubts, as opposed to just saying, "Okay, I'm afraid this is never going to happen for me. I've had so many disappointments. I've had a miscarriage. I've had failed IVFs. I've had been trying for so many years. I've had fibroids or this or that. It's not going to happen for me. It's happening for everybody else. Oh, but now I shouldn't feel this way, because I'm not being positive. And I need to think positive, and so I'm just going to tell myself, 'Naughty, naughty for thinking this way.' And then I'm just going to go, 'It'll happen for me. It'll happen for me. It'll happen for me. It'll happen for me. I know it will. I know it will.'"
But you don't really believe it, and you're kind of in this inner conflict. So instead, I would encourage you to parent that inner child that's afraid, and sad, and has been let down, and has doubts and validate that. Because there's a good reason you feel those ways, and it's okay. And then you can have that release. That inner child or that part of you that's been hurt can feel heard and expressed itself, comforted, relaxed, and allowed to feel honestly.
And then you'll probably find that after you've given yourself that space to be honest with your fears and your doubts and so forth, from there you can say, "Yes, it's true. I have been let down in the past, and this has been a really difficult journey, but I'm not giving up. I'm moving forward, and I am embracing the possibility that this can still happen for me. And I'm going to doing whatever is within my control to create an environment... do whatever I can do to make this possible for me. I'm going to live as healthy as I can. I'm going to reduce stress in my life. And by doing these things, I'm increasing the likelihood that it will happen for me. I'm choosing to live in alignment with my dreams, and I'm choosing not to give up on my dreams. And I trust that if it ever comes the time when I am ready or wanting to give up and start trying, that that'll be okay. I'll know when, but right now, I know it's not that time. And I feel hope, and I honor that hope."
And so this is a way that you can think yourself positive, but I don't want you to ever feel like your doubts, your worries, your concerns are what is keeping you from getting pregnant. And it's from this place that you can affirm yourself... that you can affirm what's real for you in this moment, but you can also affirm your power to move forward in the best way possible for you.
So, I hope that helps, because I'm creating this video because this is such a common concern for women on their fertility journeys. With all love the law of attraction stuff out there, and we all want to think positive. We all want to feel positive, but that's just not how it goes sometimes. We're human beings. It is very natural for us to have this variety of emotions and anger, fear, doubt, sadness... those aren't bad emotions. They're just different emotions, but none of them are bad or worse.
So, please don't shame yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself like a sweet little girl, and comfort yourself through this process.
If you want more information, there is a free masterclass that you can sign up HERE. It's my number one fertility secret to getting pregnant now without IVF or drugs. But certainly, if you are using IVF or any kind of fertility treatment, this information is really great for you too. I also include information about your mindset and so forth in this masterclass. I hope you sign up for it. I hope to see you over there, and I wish you so much comfort and strength on your journey.