How do I get rid of stress so I can be more fertile?

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Who isn’t concerned about stress? Who doesn’t have stress? And how many times have you heard how stress affects your fertility? You’ve probably heard it from me. I say it all the time. And I’m sure you’ve heard it from your acupuncturist, your natural path, any other fertility experts out there, your doctors, whomever.

And it’s true.

Stress does affect fertility.

However, I find that there is some confusion around what stress is and how you’re supposed to get rid of stress so that you can be more fertile.

We all have stress in our lives. That’s unavoidable. There’s traffic, there’s work, there’s bills, there’s parents and friends or loved ones or whomever, kids that need us, that need our help and there’s things in life that are unpredictable and we’re human beings. So we’re constantly struggling. The struggle is real.

So I think there’s this idea that you just have to get rid of stress, that you have to like abolish it from your life. And that’s even more stressful because there’s so many things that you don’t have control over, certain circumstances that you don’t have control over.

But there are certain circumstances that you do. But what I would really like to emphasize … when you’re thinking about how you can get rid of stress so that you can be more fertile, is that it’s actually not a matter of getting rid of the stress, that stress is actually a result of resisting the stress.

And when I’m talking about stress, now I’m talking about the internal stress, emotional stress, like an anger and tension, that internal tension that is created. I’m not talking about say, not getting enough sleep or not eating enough healthy foods.

There’s certain stress in the body that’s caused by lifestyle factors. So obviously in that case, you do have some control over that. You have control over what you eat, you have control over getting enough sleep and so forth.

But you don’t necessarily have control over emotional responses to circumstances in your life. We like to think that we have control. We like to think that we can stop our anger or we can stop our grief, or we can stop our fear. And that’s where a lot of the stress comes from. The stress actually comes from resisting those feelings, not having those feelings, because I think that there’s a common belief out there that having feelings of anger is bad or having feelings of grief or fear is bad, that we shouldn’t have those feelings, that those are negative feelings.

Well, first of all, they’re not negative feelings. There’s no such thing as a negative feeling. They’re just feelings. That would be like saying your smell is negative, or your hearing is negative. So your feelings are … they’re senses. They’re there for a reason. They’re one of the ways that we relate to the world as human beings. So anger is a perfectly healthy and purposeful emotion, as is fear, as is grief, as is joy. They’re all purposeful. Having these emotions is not a bad thing. And the idea is not to abolish these emotions altogether and just can always be this blissful, joyful, happy person, that’s there’s never any kind of variety in the emotional spectrum. It’s just not realistic either. And so what happens is we don’t like these feelings. Oftentimes, they’re uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to feel anger, it’s uncomfortable to feel sadness, and it’s uncomfortable to feel fear. So we resist and it’s that resistance that is actually causing distress. That’s where the emotion gets stuck and that stuck energy is what can cause disease.

In Chinese medicine, there’s a foundational principle that says when you have free flow, free movement, you have health.

When you have a blockage, any energy that’s stuck, then you have disease. So health is as simple as flow, as movement. So when we resist the feelings, when we resist the emotion, that’s where the stress and dysfunction and disease comes into play because it gets stuck. So the idea for getting rid of stress is to actually embrace the stress, embrace the sadness, embrace the anger, embrace the fear, allow it. Also in Chinese medicine, there’s different emotions that are associated with each organ system.

So for instance, anger is associated with your liver system, but in Chinese medicine, the liver it’s not just the organ, the liver, there’s a whole energetic system, and this liver energetic system actually controls your hormonal balance and influences circulation to your reproductive organs.

So if you were experiencing anger, anger does serve a purpose. Anger helps us to facilitate change. When we see something that we don’t like or we think is unfair and it makes us angry, it motivates us to change things that may not be good, change things in the world. If we see a child that’s being hurt or starved, that makes us angry. Would you say if you feel angry about that, that that’s wrong, that that’s stress that you shouldn’t have? No, absolutely not. It’s healthy and it motivates change. It’s a powerful emotion though. So it definitely takes a lot of awareness to sit with these strong emotions like anger and fear and grief, especially because we often believe that they’re bad, we shouldn’t feel these or they’re uncomfortable, they’re hard to feel.

I would encourage you to give yourself some space in your life to just allow yourself to feel your emotions, 15 minutes in the morning or 15 minutes in the evening. Journal, just write down whatever you feel and allow those feelings. Tell yourself it’s okay. Comfort yourself. Treat yourself like your best friend or the most amazing husband or the most amazing spouse like … what you would want your dream spouse would say these magic words, this is exactly what you want to hear, or parent yourself, or be your best friend.

Whatever feels right to you.

Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel — notice where you feel it in your body and then comfort yourself and say that it’s okay to feel this way and I understand why you feel this way and I’m here for you. I’m here for you no matter what — I’ll love you no matter what feelings that you have.

This is just like weather. Imagine your emotions like weather passing through. Sometimes it’s sunny and clear and blue skies and fluffy white clouds. Sometimes it’s some little gray and overcast and drizzly. Sometimes it’s downright stormy, but it’s just passing whether it’s not who you are and the more you allow these feelings, the more flow that you’re going to have in your body, the more health that you’re going to have in your body.

This is how you get rid of stress to help you be more fertile. I know it’s probably not the answer that you expected, but it will help your fertility because it will allow for more flow. So what does that mean?

That means less stress hormones being released in your body, more reproductive hormones, progesterone levels and so forth, better hormonal balance. When stress hormones are released, that causes hormonal imbalances. When stress hormones are relieved, that causes muscle tension, which reduces circulation to the reproductive organs. When you’re stressed out and you’re tense, then your heart rate’s speeding faster and your body’s becoming exhausted, you don’t digest food as well and so then you don’t have as many nutrients that are available for your egg health, for your uterine lining, and to build reproductive hormones.

When you cry, you’re actually cleansing your body of stress hormones. So when you allow yourself the space to feel into the grief, to the sadness, to the fear, and you have a release and you just let yourself cry, you’re actually flushing out stress hormones that are affecting your fertility. When you allow yourself to feel into these feelings and release them, you can feel your body relax and calm down and circulation and flow be restored.

Do you allow yourself feelings? Are you resisting your feelings? Do you feel like that’s causing you extra stress?

I talk about mindset and stress as well as other mind body practices that help you to be more fertile and some really practical daily lifestyle tools that will increase your fertility so that you can get pregnant. And even if you are preparing for any kind of fertility treatment, the information in this masterclass will be really helpful for you as well. It’s totally free, so I really hope to see you in there.

I hope you’ll give yourself some space to allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up. You’re human. You’re not alone. We all feel these, so let’s do it for each other.

P.S. Wanna learn more? Watch my FREE 5-Step Fertility Reset Masterclass by going HERE. My proven baby-making strategy that works no matter what you’ve tried before, how old you are or how messed up you think your fertility is (I’ve seen it all!)!